I want a Red Tent!

We read "The Red Tent" in book club this month. When it was first suggested, I was intrigued with the idea of the Biblical tale of Jacob and his wives being brought to life in a work of historical fiction. The story is narrated by Dinah, Jacob and Leah's daughter. I'm a fan of "...the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" and "King of Dreams", and I kind of expected more of the same feel. Well, without the singing.

Anita Diamant disappointed me. Sorry, Anita, if you're reading this. If they made "The Red Tent" into a musical, I would definitely not be taking my kids to see it!

Aside from sexual innuendo and graphic violence, what I mainly didn't like was the picture that was painted of women I already felt I knew. I felt like I did when I went to see the Percy Jackson movie. It vaguely resembled a story I loved, but was told completely WRONG! I do not believe that Jacob's wives indulged in idol worship or superstition. I think that Jacob taught them the Gospel and that they embraced and practiced it. I know they weren't a perfect family. There's no such thing. But I believe, at the very least, they were parents who tried to follow the Lord the best they could. Just like me. My opinion.

What I DID like about the book was the idea of a red tent, and the recognition of the amazing and profound power that we, as women, have. I liked that "that time of the month" wasn't seen as icky and annoying, but rather it was celebrated as a cleansing process and a time of rejuvenation. I especially liked the idea of women coming together to support each other (despite grudges, conflict, rivalry, jealousy, misunderstanding, etc) to help another woman bring a life into the world.

Overall, though I do not give the book my endorsement, it did inspire me to want to start celebrating my womanhood more fully by doing the following:

1-I'm going to try to cherish the women in my life. I want to have deeper and stronger friendships. This means I'm going to have to put more effort into being a better friend. I want to deliberately attend to the needs of my friends, not just enjoy there company and wave them on there way.
2-I'm going to try to rejoice in being a woman, even when I'm having my period. I mean, come on, it's not like I have to sit on rags or anything! I am very grateful to be a woman in the 21st century. I love being feminine. I love being a wife. I love being a mommy. I'm not going to add any "except for such-and-such part of it".
3-I'm going to make a concerted effort to teach my girls how wonderful it is to be women. I want them to know that they are the crown jewel of the Creator. I want them to know that "women's work" is the BEST work.
4-I'm going to read about other women. There's a great website I came across called The Mormon Women Project (Google it). LDS women from varying walks of life are interviewed and their stories told. I love that it shows that there is no cookie-cutter way to be a Mormon woman. The only thing we need in common is our love for the Savior and His Gospel. I'm going to read every post on the MWP site.

Doing these things will build me my own virtual red tent. You can come visit me here, whenever you like. Well, unless you're a guy. Sorry, no boys allowed.

I know TODAY that being a woman is a wonderful honor. I have never begrudged it. I love being a girl!

Happy to see Whitey

Whitey is the name of a squirrel who lives at the park where I run. He has a white tail. Clever name, yeah, I know.

I was happy to see Whitey, this morning, when I arrived at the park. I was happy because his presence was a distraction from the daunting work I was about to do. I'm not a runner. I never have been. But I soon will be. For the last several weeks, I have been training to run a 5K. It's hard. Having Whitey there makes it easier. His squirrely antics are all the more amusing because his appearance is so unique, and he's easy to discern from the other squirrels. I can pick him out from quite a distance and observe him for extended periods of time, without him blending into the trees, like the other squirrels do. He's stinkin' cute!

Life is full of hard things that we have to (or choose to) do. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning to go running, but I did it anyway. When I saw Whitey, chasing another squirrel out of his territory, it made me smile, and I was glad that I hadn't given up and stayed in bed. Several times during my run, when it was getting hard to catch my breath, and my legs felt like rubber, I thought of Whitey and found enough strength to keep going. Thanks to Whitey, I didn't quit.

There have been many "Whiteys" in my life. People who have been there to support me and help me keep going. I know TODAY that I'm not a quitter, because I am surrounded by "Whiteys". Thank you, Whitey.

Why "The Brainy Broad"?

I'm worried about losing my mind. Not just the "I'm an LDS mother of 5 kids, trying to live the Gospel to the fullest and change the world, all while keeping an immaculate house and preparing delicious and nutritious meals 3 times a day," kind of losing my mind. I mean "literal decline of brain function" losing my mind. Last year, in the sixth month of a pregnancy, I had a stroke. Three months later, at 37 weeks into the pregnancy, I had another, more severe stroke. Scary.

Years earlier, the same week that I learned I was pregnant with my first child, my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He declined swiftly, and died just over a month before my daughter was born. I watched the man I adored become someone else. My sweet grandmother experienced the full wrath of Alzheimer's disease, becoming a stranger in her final years of life. The loss of beloved minds through damage to the brain is something familiar to me, and all too common among mankind.

I've never been a genius, by any stretch of the imagination, but I have always fancied myself an intelligent, insightful, free-thinking, well-educated woman. Recent reflection on the above mentioned situations has led to the realization of how very fragile all that thinkin' and book learnin' is. I think I will likely lose my mental faculties before I die. I'm not planning on dying any time, soon, but I feel a great weight of responsibility to document, right now, what I know. To preserve not just the "what's on my mind", but also the "what's in my soul". To make it clear to any who may wonder that at some point in my life, I embraced deeply felt beliefs, entertained multi-faceted ideas, rejected highly popular opinions, formed tender and empowering relationships, chose hope over despair, and both failed and triumphed. I want the contents of my soul to continue to exist for a long, long time, beyond the capacity of this broad's brain.

Let me be clear. I know very surely that when I die, my eternal spirit will remain healthy and intact, and that all my memories will be perfectly preserved. It is only in this mortal world that my concern exists, so it is only for this mortal world that my written thoughts remain. And for those who may glean some bit of wisdom or humor or insight from them. And I, myself, will likely be the largest beneficiary of this endeavor. As long as my mind functions at some level, I will be able to review these words. It will be my "Notebook", wherein my adoring husband and precious children can find words of encouragement and comfort when I am no longer Me. Maybe this noble cause won't find a purpose, beyond serving as the rambling journal of another Mormon mommy. But, that would be cause enough :) So, reader, here begins the spewing forth of as much of Me as can be practically accessed with my limited resources. I will use what time and words I can to paint you a picture of Me, for as long as I am Me; one of many Brainy Broads.